across the street

When I'm bored with nothing to do
I hurt myself and think of you.
When it's the same and nothing's new
I lose myself in bands of blue.
Love and pain can be renewed
I hurt myself and love you too.

Found Song

A decision was made
In an apartment an hour away
No word on how
The verdict was reached
The jurist entitled to what she believes
And I am consigned to weeks of hard time
While I re-examine what’s really mine
It’s a death sentence, but I feel just fine
Guilty for sure but not of the crime.

No system in place
To make some appeal for some sort of grace,
For some sort of mercy,
But mercy’s a joke
Pray a Hail Mary, it’s all that she wrote.
You really won’t call? Won’t help me at all?
Rhetorical questions for a rhetorical wall.
Sad Cinderella skipped out on the ball,
The prince that she left just mopes in the hall.

As for self-pity, what’s more attractive?
The guy that you’re with, I’m sure he’s a bastard
I try to be strong, I wind up sarcasticAnd you’re left better alone

Hope takes time to die,
the clown said with a sigh.
Then he said it again.
The clown's been quiet since then.

What are you here for?
The nurse clutched her clipboard.
She didn't know who you were.
She thought you were a visitor.

The one who loved you most
is a girl as much as a ghost.
Your love may be alive,
but the girl who loved you died.

Won't Say It Again

I sensed I would be here
I guessed this day would come
I wouldn't see her
I wouldn't be the one
I'd fucking jinx it
I would want it too much
then I would blink
and be shit out of luck.
Do you know it's too bad?
It was something I wanted
and something I had
if just for a moment
Thank God I'm a grown up
and so I cannot feel pain
do as you will
do as you want to
I will come back again.

But I already offered
and I think I heard what you said.
If you ever wanted,
sorry won't say it again.

You don't have to say where,
but will you ever say when?
If you ever wanted,
sorry, won't say it again.

Staycation

Low hope
saves energy
bet small
on what won't be
keep an eye out for jealous gods
keep Jesus in you heart
keep your fingers crossed.


[Cold comfort
but you knew the score
from the time she sat down
her eyes were on the door
before you spoke a word
she'd heard it all before
you never were the one
you were just one more]