Cold Case

a cop show
character
shared my first name
he was the suspect
but he had been framed
but in the show
he didn't seem to care
if he went away
if it wasn't fair
and then at the end
they figured it out
I wasn't the killer
there was no doubt
but the guy on the show
not happy or sad
some stupid adventure
not good or bad
I turned off the box
and lay on the bed
and thought of adventures
and where they had led
what good they'd done
and then I slept.

Quarter

The trip down the strip
on a Friday night
stray dog sniffing garbage cans.
Fixed his gaze but he lost his sight,
makes his way with his hands.
It made sense to him at some point.
It doesn't anymore.
He wants to make it work
the way it worked before.

A walk by the docks
when the workday's done
the river's pretty by the moon.
And if his soul is what the workday wants
she will have it soon.
He'd like to try again, knowing what he knows
You go around once
I guess that's how it goes.

The trip down the strip
on a Friday night.
I'm always walking home.
Do what you want, you didn't do it right
you're better off alone.

doesn't matter

Like a dream when you wake up
and the dream goes away.
Before you forget
or before you remember
and hope drains out of the day.

Like something you thought of,
but didn't think to say.
Of course it was nothing
but still feels like something,
like some dropped line in a play.

The time that you spoke up
but didn't get your way.
Say what you want,
you made your point
but that doesn't make it okay.

Tulips Out of Season

You may imagine the commute's getting longer
but then again maybe you don't.
If you looked for someplace closer
but you sort of know that you won't.
You tell yourself that it's all worth it
you tell yourself that it's all worth it
just so you get to live alone.

The walks you insist on taking
start to take their toll on you.
Masturbate or watch a movie,
walking gives you something to do.
Tulips are my favorite flower
and they remind me of you.
Now they're gone and I feel nothing
Now they're gone and I feel nothing
that isn't totally true.

Something he's learned
and knows to be true
Almost nobody means
the things that they do.

The pain you may cause
can verge on the lethal
but it's not immoral
and totally legal.

What starts as love
ends as injustice
when you're betrayed
by the one that you trusted.

What started as hope's
a misunderstanding,
what started as flight
crashes in landing.

In no one's fucking opinion
do you hold dominion
and life is not all that you want.
If shit doesn't happen
just like you imagine
you shouldn't be totally stunned.

[Something he knows
that came to him slow
life is just like a dream.
Something he thought
and totally bought
he was the man on the scene.]

volume 76

Can't seem to talk anymore
but you can just watch me try.
I know you don't care anymore
but I'm not sure I know why.
there was some moment in time
I know I let slip by.
I know you don't care anymore
but I'm not sure I know why.

Time to take this show on the road
Time to choke down my pride
Tried to make my peace with the Lord.
The Lord just sighed.
Tried to take a step towards joy
and watched the kick go wide.
Hope sprung for a while
Until hope just died.

Pamela

Tired as a tired dog worthless as a broken shoe and if I don't find a place to land then this place will have to do. you can push a man only so far and then you can push him a little more when that man takes a stand you can kick him to the floor. you know it's true what they say? Life's about the little things and if you don't stay through the day what's it matter what tomorrow brings? the happy dream that you had when you woke up made you sad but you think on your fourth drink everything isn't so bad. the one you dream of who summons all your foolish blood when she left she took your breath as she took all of your love.

A Drawing

A look that you gave that felt like a thousand words a thousand to zero something you said and didn't think I'd recall didn't think I would hear you but I made a note I wrote on the wall I want to be near you a glance at the time as I was saying that I'm falling for you a small distraction from my only crime and all I could do a passing remark you made in the dark and didn't think I could hear you and felt totally dumb and not what you want a thousand to zero.

Shotgun

Almost a man you could love. But almost isn't enough. It's a long drop to the bus stop. Days evolve into weeks. You adjust to the taste of defeat. It's okay though, you're a Virgo. Wonder what was it you said to kill a whole romance dead. You did something, was it one thing?

President's Day

A bitch of a week
and it hurt a lot
but I feel okay
or I feel okay right now
that's where I am right now

A moment in time
as good as another
you can try to forget
or try to discover
it's up to you, so they say
that's one perspective anyway

So sad about her
whoever she is
and you will love her
as long as you live
in a certain sense that's true
fun to say I love you.

calypso

Just so you know
she'll never go
'cause she already left

so you're not mistaken
she's already taken
by some asshole
she has just met

if you haven't caught on
she's already gone
she didn't mean you
any respect

if you don't understand
you're not her man
if that's something you somehow
don't get

Friends and Family

In between one thing and another
seeing you there.
Not your friend, not your lover
but somebody else.
We keep bumping into each other.

Fake it just til you make it.
If you see what you want
you should take it.
If you don't get your fix
you should break it.

Jennifer Jason Leigh

A still life of holy sacraments
a drink, a candle, and a broken pen.
The prayer that you've said and will say again.
The words you've whispered but never meant
so it's okay no one's answered.

Recap

In the dream I had about you
my name was your new tattoo
but when I pushed up your sleeve
I saw there was more
than just me
In the dream I understood
in the way good dreamers should.
Awake I wondered again
about these other men.
Because it seems
such a favor to me
you keep me company
if that's not weird to say.
I said it anyway.

You changed your picture
to show the whole world
somebody loves you
you're one lucky girl
you don't have to do that
I already knew
How couldn't I know that
when I love you too
The picture I keep
you're slyly smiling

Free At Last (complete)

A cast came off something broken
a fall where you hit too hard
the plaster turned grey with devotion
you wore the sling like a scar
sometimes somebody signed it
each name faded with time
alone with your hurt
it only got worse
got worse until it got fine.
Now what's broken is mended
it's pain you can put in the past
the saga you sought has finally ended
and now you are free at last.
the saga you sought has finally ended
and now you are free at last.