Journal

...One wants another to take a perverse yet specific interest in one. Same mutual bad/wacky/beautiful idea.

A very weird time right now. Keeping one's life Spartan is a sort of deodorant to tragedy. Having kids is like setting your own mousetrap for tragedy. And so the field thins, but those that are left are sort of suited for each other. In the same serendipitous way commercials on late night channels geared to losers reach those precise losers, for pennies on the second.

Another Something

A Wednesday night
you're not up for nothing
your mind is shattered
it's focused on one thing
the only city
and you are its lone king
and Pamela makes
such a mean drink.
You want another something.

Rained all day
wind blew even harder
you read a book
didn't get any smarter
Someone gets in your way
you beg their pardon
Such a good guy
Such a good martyr.

the only city
and you are its lone king
and Pamela makes
such a mean drink.
You want another something.

Free At Last

A cast came off
something broken
a fall where you hit
far too hard
the plaster
turned grey with devotion
you wore the sling like a scar
sometime
somebody signed it
but each name faded with time.

Supermarket Fire

My body remembers
a pill that I swallowed
something to increase the pain
something I thought of
as I hit the bottle
you never tried to explain
where are you now
I won't imagine
put my hands over my eyes
and think of you
how I always wanted
where you picture me
in your mind

the god of the junction
has ceased to function
and we're just a dream in a dream
think of me once
that's all I want
I'll fall asleep inbetween

There's nothing to say
I'm going to say it
my volumes speak silence in words
stained memories
of something forgotten
is it ok if I keep mine with yours?

silencio

Walked three miles
on two broken knees
and looked everywhere
you said you'd be
I had forgotten
it was Halloween
I forgot what you said you'd be
I saw your ghost
in so many places
your painted smile
on so many faces
this one time
I almost asked
I could see it was
just a mask.
This one time I almost asked
I could see
it was just a mask.

Drink Prices

Hot move on a cold night
whatever you were trying
you didn't do it right.
At least you're seizing the day,
if only it turned out a different way.

Sometimes the things that you want
sense that you do and announce that they don't.
You feel misunderstood.
It was something you wanted, not something you would.

The comfort of the retreat.
The shuffling sounds of shuffling feet.
Before any move you make,
are you totally sure it's totally safe?

A Friday night but Buttermilk's dead

Can't think of someplace to go instead

Sidecar is close but home's always cheaper
Get high and listen to "Don't Fear the Reaper."

It's been such a long week

thought I deserved something

took a long walk and came here for nothing

the walk's the same home

except only longer
scarier out

the winds are much stronger.

Retitled

It's a long walk,
but it's okay. I like to walk anyway.
You order, I just ate.
Really the food would just sit on a plate.
I saw it once but I don't mind.
It's the kind of movie you can see twice.
And if you'd like to walk over me,
if that's something you wanted to see.
And if it would please you to watch me chew glass
if that's your pleasure, you can just ask.
Because whatever you want, that's what I'll do
because your desire's a part of you.

ac

It's not hot as hell
hell's probably hotter
all we can think
is to drink holy water
and look to the sky
and pray for whatever
all we can do
is talk of the weather

Optimism

Wherever you go
that is the plan
and you are the man.
Whatever you think
that's how it is
cause you know your shit.
and whoever you want
they're fools if they don't
When the sun shines
the sun shines for you
when the moon dies
its sacrifice
its sacrifice

A man of the world,
a man on the town,
you don't fuck around.
Whatever you say
people will do people love you.
Whoever you choose
has nothing to lose
When the sun shines
the sun shines for you.
When the moon climbs,
its sacrifice, its sacrifice.

Who is a winner?
It's this guy.
Who is the fellow
no one can deny?
You've got the world
on a string,
it's a world made of twine,
the world is your plaything,
the world will watch you die.

Bar Thoughts

Sort of drove 3 chicks [sic] away. But didn't, really. Drunken chat, then they split, one telling me I should talk to chicks [sic] instead [of writing]. Feel almost boozed out. With like 7/8 of a Guiness. Once other broad [sic] comes back to occupy Brad I'll drink like a bastard then go. Writing at very moment so as not to make eye contact. Chick[sic] was basically telling me I failed in not hitting on her. That hurts.

Drunk Fragments/Pauline

Somehow they sense
you're preoccupied
the hints you drop
they let it lie
all the things you say end in a sigh
you think you should
you shouldn't try

think you broke your thumb
(I know that something hurts)
-------
You're the ache in my wrist you're the break in my heart.
you're the one that I miss when I lie in the dark.
Don't have anything that profound to say.
Only that you split when I hoped you'd stay.

In the absence of something
the something is you
it's worse than nothing
but it's something to do.
I don't usually talk this way.
Just stupid mood I'm in today.

I didn't really know you
but we covered a lot
if you didn't notice
I always thought
you had the most interesting things to say.
Now you're gone I hear them anyway.

across the street

When I'm bored with nothing to do
I hurt myself and think of you.
When it's the same and nothing's new
I lose myself in bands of blue.
Love and pain can be renewed
I hurt myself and love you too.

Found Song

A decision was made
In an apartment an hour away
No word on how
The verdict was reached
The jurist entitled to what she believes
And I am consigned to weeks of hard time
While I re-examine what’s really mine
It’s a death sentence, but I feel just fine
Guilty for sure but not of the crime.

No system in place
To make some appeal for some sort of grace,
For some sort of mercy,
But mercy’s a joke
Pray a Hail Mary, it’s all that she wrote.
You really won’t call? Won’t help me at all?
Rhetorical questions for a rhetorical wall.
Sad Cinderella skipped out on the ball,
The prince that she left just mopes in the hall.

As for self-pity, what’s more attractive?
The guy that you’re with, I’m sure he’s a bastard
I try to be strong, I wind up sarcasticAnd you’re left better alone

Hope takes time to die,
the clown said with a sigh.
Then he said it again.
The clown's been quiet since then.

What are you here for?
The nurse clutched her clipboard.
She didn't know who you were.
She thought you were a visitor.

The one who loved you most
is a girl as much as a ghost.
Your love may be alive,
but the girl who loved you died.