Won't Say It Again

I sensed I would be here
I guessed this day would come
I wouldn't see her
I wouldn't be the one
I'd fucking jinx it
I would want it too much
then I would blink
and be shit out of luck.
Do you know it's too bad?
It was something I wanted
and something I had
if just for a moment
Thank God I'm a grown up
and so I cannot feel pain
do as you will
do as you want to
I will come back again.

But I already offered
and I think I heard what you said.
If you ever wanted,
sorry won't say it again.

You don't have to say where,
but will you ever say when?
If you ever wanted,
sorry, won't say it again.

Staycation

Low hope
saves energy
bet small
on what won't be
keep an eye out for jealous gods
keep Jesus in you heart
keep your fingers crossed.


[Cold comfort
but you knew the score
from the time she sat down
her eyes were on the door
before you spoke a word
she'd heard it all before
you never were the one
you were just one more]

when I got back

Day off tomorrow
so thought I'd come here
Brooklyn's a maze
won't see you tomorrow

With money to burn
and nothing to borrow
thought I'd come here
the city is crazy
the city is sorrow

Decided at lunch time
tomorrow no way
when I got back
said I'm taking the day
Do what you want
but hear what I say
when tomorrow comes
I'm taking the day

The glass may be full
but I feel so hollow
thought I'd come here
I'm taking the day
I won't see you tomorrow.

I'll See You There

A pen in your fist,
your gift to the world
say what you wish
you wish for a girl.
supposed to meet
someone
who hasn't shown up
try to do something
it's never enough.

It's time for a chorus
it's finally time
Something you wanted
is finally mine.

Hi.

Great Lakes Monday

A bad day
but they all are
time to give up,
move into your car.
The only way you'll ever go far.
The power of positive thinking,
you know
will never work
for someone like you.
It's the truth
but disregard it,
forget this conversation
ever started.

If it's broken
don't fix it.

Home Sweet Here

Mostly you come
'cause the place is so near
stools you can sit on
where they serve beer
on the fourth drink
she always says cheers
you know where you are
you're home sweet here.

Now Ginger knows
without being told
one drink is amber
the other is gold
the glass may be warm
but the bottle is cold
the guys who hang out
are a jury of your peers
you're home sweet here.

No one is waiting
for her phone to ring
your apartment's your castle
and you are its king
as far as you can see
you own everything
sometimes
you fear
the end may be near
but that's ok.
you're home sweet here.

A Drink Before A Party (I didn't wind up going to)

you could go to a party
there's one you could go to
it's only 4 blocks away
people you know
happy to see you
no cover to pay.

somewhere you know
it should be appealing
people somewhere
they care.
still you don't go
you don't really want to
it even could be
that you're scared.
--
1/30/9. And vanished on her own, married some dude she met in the same bar she met me. I'm thinking I won't go. Ginger wears a tuxedo shirt.

H. Hour

Made a dare to yourself
then you were stupid
you said OK
and you came
now that you're here
all of your courage
curdles itself into shame

Never been older
still you know nothing
except for the fact
you don't know
dumb in your 20's
settled for nothing
that was a long time ago

So how did it work out?
How was your honey?
How was the thing that you want?

A long day
only half over
the kid kills your soul
you come here
half undercover
half under control

lunch hour
you read a story
you had a dream.

"When you have completed what you thought you had to do."-Raconteurs on ipod.

I Go to This Place Too

Nick the Friendly Ghost

[one of several lyrics for songs I returned to many times, and may well again, like a piece of crochet]

Nick the friendly ghost
floats on the redeye
that goes coast to coast
stares through his dead eyes
to see what you won't,
to reap what you've sown.

Leaning back in coach
you fall sleep
and slip into the dream
where you first meet
she kisses you outside
you buck and then you glide.

Nick is wide awake
he's scared of flying.
Even though he's dead,
he's scared of dying
you're happy where you are,
gliding through the stars.

Bit

My shrink says I'm too hard on myself. She's totally right, I totally do that. Why do I do that? Why am I such a stupid asshole that way? Why? Why?

Fragment #2

"Monsters Lead Such Interesting Lives"
sung by Mel Torme. The line from a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

You light the candles.
I'm the first one through the door.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. But do it in that hilarious duck voice.

2.00 divided by 7

Rhetorical Questions That Aren't Rhetorical
bit

not much
to go home to
one the other hand
why get out of bed?
I do what I want to
or I do what
someone says

Page ?

Now I pluck a rubber band on my wrist any time I display a compulsive behavior.

Kip Conlon

Kip Conlon

Kip Conlon

Kip Conlon

[signatures]

5/15/8

The Universe Is A Trick Question

I believe superstitious people are morons.

If I stop believing this my heart will stop and both Santa Claus and I will die.

5/15/8 Levee. Some weird spontaneous decision to not go home. Rewardless so far. Picked up a copy of Force Majeure for 2 bucks at Salvation Army. [redacted] The Man Who Wasn't There.

Another Bar

Fragment #1

It's dead
it's dead all around
try to go up
you'll only come down
say what you want
it's the heart of the heart
if you can't live for love
you can live for art.

Nice to see her. But that's that. And she's all gung-ho about someone else.

One of the Bars

Wrinkled Scraps of Paper

You'd like me to stop speaking in platitudes?

You can't always get what you want.